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Artikkel / Film & TV

3. March 2015

30 kloke sitat fra en internasjonal helt

Visdomsord fra TV #1: Homer Simpson

Artikkel / Film & TV

3. March 2015

Homer Simpson er en av vår tids største fiksjonelle karakterer. Med 25 år på tv skjermene har det kommt mange gode visdomsord fra den gule mannen med et smalt alkoholproblem. Her er bare noen få av di mange som eksisterer.
 

"Alcohol; the cause of and solution to all of lifes problems"

"I have 3 kids and no money. Why couldn't i have no kids and 3 money?"

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way"

"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get"

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try"

"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such"

"I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

"Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races"

"Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail"

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover"

"How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming"

"If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing"

"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!"

"To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?"

"Homer no function beer well without"

"I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now"

"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever...thy will be done"

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Yes, honey... Just squeeze your rage up into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time, like that day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle"

"Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14 percent of all people know that"

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use"

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman"

"I saw this movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I think it was called The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down"

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day"

"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel"

"Facts are meaningless. You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true"

"Books are useless! I only ever read one book, “To Kill A Mockingbird,” and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the colour of his skin… but what good does that do me?"

"If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing"

"Oh my god, space aliens. Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!"


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