31 sitat fra Ron Swanson
Parks and Recreation var i sine 7 sesonger regnet av flere som USA beste sitcom. Kanskje den beste karakteren var uten tvil Nick Offermans Ron Swanson. Mannen med en stårelende bart, og et sterkt hat for regjering og offentlig ansatte hadde flere intelligente utsagn og meninger. Forsåvidt kan nesten alle hans replikker gjennom serien være i denne artikkelen, men jeg har prøvd å begrense det.
"Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand?"
"I work hard to make sure my department is as small and as ineffective as possible"
"The less I know about other people's affairs, the happier I am. I'm not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes"
"I just want to get the work over as soon as possible so I can do some fishing. Fishing relaxes me. It's like yoga except I still get to kill something"
"Leslie needs to butt out. The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds, and die of a heart attack at 43, you can. You are free to do so. To me, that's beautiful"
"My idea of a perfect government is one guy who sits in a small room at a desk, and the only thing he's allowed to decide is who to nuke. The man is chosen based on some kind of IQ test, and maybe also a physical tournament, like a decathlon. And women are brought to him, maybe...when he desires them"
"Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Don`t teach a man to fish... and feed yourself. He`s a grown man. And fishing`s not that hard"
"When I walked in this morning is saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, "All right, another bureaucrat ate it!"
"What's a not gay way to ask him to go camping with me?"
"I am an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi"
"Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I've won an award"
"Capitalism: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor"
"Fish, for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable"
"Child labor laws are ruining this country"
"Ann: Do you exercise? Ron: Yes. Lovemaking and woodworking Ann: Do you have any history of mental illness in your family? Ron: I have an uncle who does yoga"
"I like saying ‘No,’ it lowers their enthusiasm"
"Diane: Am I interrupting anything important? Ron: Impossible, I work for the goverment"
"Leslie has many qualities I find horrifying. But the worst one by far, is how thoughtful she can be"
"There is no such thing as bad weather. Only inadequate clothing and methods of transportation"
"I`m surrounded by a lot of women in this department. And that includes the men"
"When people get to chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name. To let them know I don`t care about them"
"Tom, we`re already late. Now be a man, and sit on that girls lap"
"Son, there is no wrong way to consume alcohol"
"Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless"
"The government should not prop up a failed business. That would be like giving food to a mortally wounded animal instead of slitting its throat and properly utilizing its meat and pelt"
"Normally, if given a choice between doing something and nothing, I'd choose to do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant nothing got done"
"I will leave my children 50 dollars each for the cab home from the funeral, and a steak dinner"
"I`m not a sore loser. I just prefer to win and when I dont I get furious"
"I`d like to introduce you to my son, John middle name redacted Swanson. John was born some time ago, weighing multiple pounds and several ounces. Much like his father he is a fan of silence"
"Put some alcohol in your mouth, to stop the words from coming out"
"I`m being held as a prisoner against my will. And I have the right, as a citizen of the United States, to blow a hole in that fucking door and walk out as a free man. It`s in the constitution"